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Writer's pictureMelissa Wallace

What Happened to In-Person Connections?

Updated: May 16, 2023

Do you have a strong, supportive community? How has your community changed since the Covid-19 pandemic? Have you found it easy to connect with others, or do you see yourself only occasionally meeting up with a nearby friend, and during your conversation with them, realize it has been months or even a year since you last connected with them in person?


I wonder if social media has become even more of a substitute for human connection since the pandemic. Daniel Ruby wrote, "On average, the typical social media user interacts with 6.6 social media platforms. (DemandSage.com, "Social Media Users In The World - 2023 Demographics"). Likewise, Ruby disclosed that America ranked third in the top 20 countries with the Most Number of Social Media Users as of 2023. Considering how the Coronavirus pandemic impacted society, I wonder if we have become even more reliant on social media to connect with others.


But is this normal? Is this healthy?

My husband and I understand the importance of building a community, but if I am being honest, we continue to struggle with consistent in-person connections. Many factors contribute to this dilemma, including frequent out-of-state moves requiring us to start over. This process involves helping our children connect to their new schools, healthcare providers, and youth groups. Once we get settled and connected, we often receive the news that it is time for us to move again.

This lifestyle can be exhausting, so when we decided to move to our current location, I was relieved to learn that we could finally settle down. Our whole family was excited about getting connected, and we threw ourselves into a church, volunteering on Sunday mornings and hosting a small group. I started searching for art classes for myself. I wanted to find my local creative tribe! My husband and I discovered a local brewery within walking distance from our house, so we would walk there and see so many friends and neighbors. It truly felt like a place where "Everybody knows your name." We started to get to know our neighbors and enjoyed some wonderful family gatherings with them. Then the Coronavirus hit the U.S., and everything changed.

Suddenly, we were ordered to stay home as much as possible. For a while, the social gathering places, such as restaurants, closed their indoor seating, and we had to order our food and beverages to go. Art classes were held virtually. Sponsored opportunities for in-person connection came to a complete halt.


Eventually, the restaurants and our favorite brewery, where our friends and neighbors usually gathered, had limited, socially-distanced seating. Some places had strict rules, requiring customers to wear masks even when standing at their table, and they strongly discouraged going to someone else's table to say hello. Understandably, they often imposed time limits to allow other patrons a chance to enjoy some time away from home. Everything changed, and people stopped coming.



After everything fully opened again, my husband and I noticed that the social patterns had changed. When we went to the brewery, we found that we only knew the employees. All the customers were strangers. Our neighbors started exploring other forms of respite, a necessary step towards recovering from the mental toll the global pandemic had on most of us. My husband and I quickly realized we no longer had the same social connections we once enjoyed. We had moved to a place where we could finally settle and create a long-term community, only to have it all demolished eight months later by the global pandemic.

All of this has given me cause to pause and reflect on the importance of connection. Is it normal or healthy to live our lives mostly separately? Is there a benefit to this, or would we be better off engaging in regular gatherings with a group of like-minded people? According to Science of People, "compared to 1990, Americans are becoming more socially isolated over time." Considering how research highlights how social connections benefit our well-being and longevity, we should probably prioritize connecting with others.


I do not believe social media and other online platforms are the best substitutes for true community. However, we can still utilize them to help us connect with like-minded people within our geographical locations. We can search for local community gatherings that align with our interests and, hopefully, meet others who are just as interested in true, in-person connections.


There is something about in-person, intimate connections with others. We need friends and family who we connect with regularly so we can "do life" together. In fact, Psalm 133:1 declares, "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (New International Version) We feel less alone when we find people who can relate to similar experiences. My husband and I have had a rough go since moving into our home in 2019, but we are working towards rebuilding what we lost. We want an authentic connection with others.


What about you? Were you able to maintain your social connections during the pandemic? Do you feel like the pandemic caused you to lose relationships? Where are you now? I would love to hear how the pandemic impacted your way of life and your tips on rebuilding a community!

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